The Binge Questionaire 2
5 April, 2013
1. Am I angry or upset?
I’m beyond fucking pissed…and sad. I spent the day feeling pretty good about not having binged in two days and having exercised each day. There was a bit of a spring in my step. My pants felt just kinda tight instead of “oh my god, these are obscene.” Then, I had to go to Walgreens to pick up a prescription. I should have gone through the drive-thru instead of going into the temptation, but I thought, “if I can’t handle it today, when will I be able to?” Well, I guess the answer is never.
Even worse, I didn’t buy as much as I have been. If I’d stuck to just what I got at the store, it wouldn’t have been a total disaster. But no, once I finished the goodies from the store, I wanted more. So I started finding stuff in the house to eat. Now I have a hella tummy ache.
Why was I able to control these urges for almost two years and can now barely mange for two days? This makes no fucking sense to me at all. *sigh* I’ll try and do it all over again tomorrow. I’ll have to go back to Walgreens since they couldn’t fill everything today (getting ready for my vacation). I’m going drive-thru this time.
2. Am I or do I feel like crying?
No. I want to kick myself in the ass. Sadly, I’m not flexible enough.
3. What does my body feel like?
Same as last time: horrible, bloated, stretched, lethargic, flabby….BAD.
4. What do I want to do now?
Punish myself…which often means more food. Trying not to.
5. Do I want to do this again?
Same answer as last time: Hell no. Didn’t the last elevently thousand times either.