29 October, 2003
Okay, I’m officially freaked out. I was getting ready to go out for my nightly walk. First, go into the half-bath (where the clothes hamper is) and take off my work clothes. Walk into the full-bath (yes, my house is odd – there’s a half and full-bath right next to each other) to get a drink of water and wash off my eye make-up before heading into the bedroom to put on my walking clothes. I’m standing there at the sink and feel something go “plop” onto my head! Eeee! I quickly do the “run my hands over my head and jump around like the ninny I am get that bug off from me” mambo. I feel nothing, but now look like I belong in an 80s hair band. I start looking around the bath and the half-bath for the bug that I’m sure just landed on my head only to be subsequently flung off thanks to the mambo. I can’t see anything. I keep looking and looking, knowing I won’t be able to sleep that night until I find it. All of a sudden, a feeling something tingly on my chest. I look down and crawling off my bra and onto my chest is a HUGE cockroach! It’s heading straight for the jugular! I freak again and do an even more intense “get this damn bug off me” dance. Finally, I see the roach crawling behind the toilet. Damn thing was at least 3 inches long. My heart is racing and I know I won’t be happy until that little fucker is dead! It takes about 10 minutes and I don’t have any luck mooshing it, but when it runs near the vacuum cleaner that is sitting out in my bedroom, I manage to suck the damn thing up. I could actually feel it going up the vacuum hose – it was that large. I HATE cockroaches.