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Back Spasms

Things not to do when you are having back spasms:

  • leave the phone that’s by your bed on the floor
  • leave your purse on the floor in the middle of the room – especially when it contains your magical relaxation pills. If you do, you might have to scoot it bit-by-bit over to the wall so you can have something to hold on to while you bend down and try to pick it up.
  • try and reach down to turn on the bath water – you might fall forehead-first into the wall. It takes awhile and some pain to stand back up again.
  • purchase a 30 pound box of cat litter, carry it into your house and try (and this is the crucial part) to set it down on the floor
  • attempt to tie your shoes
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